There are many reasons for nonprofit leaders to be frustrated, angry and burned out. Leaders are stuck trying to navigate a difficult funding environment, attract and retain staff without the resources to pay them appropriately, and make any number of difficult choices. Sabbaticals are rare in our sector, but they are gaining popularity due to the intense demands of much nonprofit work. I was fortunate to take much of 2024 off as a self-funded sabbatical.
I served as the Executive Director of the Nonprofit Association of Washington (NAWA) for seven and a half years. Looking back, I can see that I was exhibiting signs of burnout at the end of my time there. My energy level and patience were lower and my ability to adapt gracefully to change was compromised. I remained committed to the mission and brought some great skills, experience, and connections. Still, overall, I was not always able to offer my best work, adequately support staff members, or nurture key relationships.
There was something else going on as well. According to expert Dr. Christina Maslach, there are three interrelated dimensions of burnout: stress, exhaustion, and cynicism/negativity. I have never identified as a cynical person, but I did become cynical about some aspects of the nonprofit sector. Or at least, disillusioned. The definition of disillusioned is "disappointed in someone or something that one discovers to be less good than one had believed.”
Throughout my time at NAWA, I have spoken about the need for the nonprofit sector to improve its practices and make gains toward greater equity and impact. There is a mantra from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy: “I am doing the best I can. I can do better.” To me, this was the path forward: celebrating the good work nonprofits were accomplishing while also challenging them to do better. I still believe in this, but my perspective on the sector got out of balance. From my position at NAWA, I was constantly confronted with the systemic challenges facing nonprofits. This, combined with being somewhat removed from the transformation work being done in communities, led to my increasing disillusionment.
By stepping back and taking time off, I was privileged to receive the gift of perspective and of healing. My first two months after leaving NAWA were a time of much-needed rest and recuperation. I tuned out, reducing incoming stimuli dramatically. I allowed myself to stare at the wall, nap, and pursue hobbies. I did not make new commitments. The few times that I did dip back into the world of nonprofits for an event or a conversation with a colleague, I observed that I was negative, focused more on problems than solutions. I was voicing some narratives that had become tapes in my head to explain why it was all so difficult. Not necessarily wrong, but not balanced.
By the third month of my break, I could feel my energy and curiosity beginning to return. I started paying attention to what attracts and feeds me. I’ve taken a good deal more time to reconnect with family and friends, take care of much “deferred maintenance” in my life, and do things that bring me joy. Now, when I think about the nonprofit sector, I have much more curiosity and less judgment. The systemic challenges are still there, but it is also a pleasure to engage with nonprofit leaders who are truly making the world a better place. I am excited to again work with nonprofits to help them build stronger and healthier organizations. I am especially excited to work with less traditional nonprofits who are actively seeking new, equitable, and sustainable ways of organizing and creating change. Together, we can help the nonprofit sector reject old mental maps and become something better and stronger than it is today.
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