Building the skills to work with others

Relationship Skills Series Intro

As I continue to discern how to be of use in this world, I am focusing much of my learning on conflict resolution and how to be in good relationship with others across differences. I feel more than ever that we need to figure out how to get along and stick together in community in the face of extreme challenges (political oppression, climate change, economic turmoil, etc.). It is often said that peace begins at home, and I am content to work on supporting positive community building within my cohousing community, my faith community, my friend circles, and nonprofit organizations that I am affiliated with.

This is not an area where I bring great natural aptitude. My default work style is task-oriented, and I have often prioritized getting things done over slowing down to ensure inclusion and good process. I have a tendency—often associated with Aquarians—to focus on the big picture fight for justice and humanity but to be impatient with those immediately around me. I have often assumed that my understanding of a situation is correct or complete or shared when in fact this is far from the truth.

As I gain more life experience, I recognize that the greatest source of happiness and security in my life is relationships and community belonging. I have become more successful at prioritizing people and their feelings, and in trying to do things in a way that works for more people and is aligned with my commitment to equity and human dignity. And I have much more to learn.

In my next series of posts, I will share some of the tools and concepts that are equipping me to do better in my relationships and in facilitating community work. These include understanding polarities, recognizing (and rejecting) cultural beliefs that serve capitalism rather than people and the natural world, confronting our history, learning about non-violent communication and restorative justice, and exploring mutual aid and abolition. I hope you dear readers will find something that is of use to you and perhaps a vein that you wish to explore more. Our world needs people practicing peace in our personal and professional interactions.